and if you’re reading this I fucking hate you and don’t owe you a penny, either

CW/TW Domestic Violence Discussion

Good morning, happy Friday, I’ve been hopped up caffeine since the early hours of the morning today and I’ve been lucky enough to be awake in Eastern Standard time for the release of World Speed Ravine. In tandem with it, I have received so much justification in the form of a song that replicated the feelings of my abusive former partner. Like, a bit left out of field when I have to go do medical retail in a few hours on black Friday but I’m sitting here reflecting on the last….unknown amount of years in my life and I am grateful my dog days are over. Unsure why I’m sitting here protecting the identity of a man who hits women and needs a blue chew, but regardless, if you claim this is about you then…I don’t know what to tell you buddy…

This is an insane song. This is a sister in my heart to the album vibes of the Penance and The Patience by Closure in Moscow, and overall was exactly what I needed. The entirety of it is beyond measure, and I am so excited for this release and to watch a group skyrocket. It’s quite similar to how I’ve felt about the new Dwellings. I’m so excited to watch the growth of these groups. Also guys, why is the album cover changing. I am scared. There’s lore here. The pink one so terrify moment. (Professionally getting to reference Trixie Mattel will always be a pleasure, it is not lost upon me. Just a ‘by the way’.)

Regardless, lyrically this is fucking off the walls and ties back into my overall rant and rampage. I appreciate any reminder I’ve recieved over the years that it was, in fact, not my fault. I appreciate getting out of the hell I was trapped in, but “Where’d the time go”, and I feel still as if I didn’t waste it - It’s been my own unique hell that’s allowed venues of creativity and avenues of helping others as best as humanly possible within my means. It has meant that I will spot a sign and ask thirty more questions than I potentially should, but I always will help raise you from perdition as a friend.

This magazine will always be an extension of my brain, my life, my experience both inside and outside of a venue. It will always be a true extension of myself as a creative. But fuck an abusive man, fuck a domestically abusive situation, sometimes your new life will cost you your old one. Someone who never wanted the magazine to exist is reading it currently and puking with anger. And with that, hopefully that sack of shit knows where I stand with that.

Xoxo Gossip Girl.

CT